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Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Jesus Fact #1

Jesus Fact #1:

Jesus is embarassed about buying cargo shorts at Old Navy...they were on sale.

42 comments:

  1. I began these facts in October,and decided to publish them. Let me know what you think!

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  2. Yeah none of these make sense...especially since Jesus is DEAD A) he died for us idiot B) if you're gonna trash him at least make it funny with biblical refences about ancient jews and sandals or something fag hater

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  3. If I am not mistaken, I believe that the point is that these things are so ridiculous. The point is that they don't really make sense, but are just silly nonsense. I don't consider it as 'trashing him.'

    And if you want to get into Biblical references, Jesus is not truly dead, he died, but then came back from the dead and then ascended into Heaven. ;)

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  4. (I'm the second Anon poster)

    In case it wasn't clear, I find these facts somewhat humorous. Not extremely funny, but clever. Keep up the good work.

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  5. i think this is retarted...mainly just cuz its not funny. and cuz none of them have anything to do with jesus.

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  6. you guys are all bitches. take a fucking joke. CARGO SHORTS FROM OLD NAVY ARE FOR RELIGIOUS FAAAAAGS.

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  7. Ya all of these jokes are stupid... not even funny so by trashing on jesus your just making yourself look stupid

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  8. I think you all need to chill. Sure not all of them are funny, but come on, at least they're free of the smut that usually goes into a Jesus joke. Also, if you are going to bash the author of this for being stupid, at least check your grammar.

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  9. you are seriously an idiot. i have no idea why you think this is funny. if youre going to make lame jokes about someone, at least pick someone other than jesus. and cargo shorts from old navy are not religious. and im pretty sure there wasnt an old navy back around 33 A.D. so good one. but not really.

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  10. Fucking hilarious, you fags needa chill, you don't think it's funny.? THEN WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU READING IT.?

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  11. fuck the haters, these fun facts are awesome lol keep it up

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  12. i think that the reason these are all so funny is because they make no sense. if they made sense i wouldnt enjoy them so much. and dont call people fags when lecturing them about making fun of jesus. if you're going to be righteous and good, dont be a fag yourself, ideot.

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  13. Wow, like you couldn't waste your time doing something better ? like, maybe reading about jesus instead of making fun of him ? you should be thankful for what he has done for us. some people just can't appreciate what he gave us. that's sad, really.

    oh, and I don't have to be anonymous, my name is right there. and if you're asking why, it's because i'm proud to be a christian and show that i appreciate all that Jesus has done for all of us.

    hope you learned something from this, thanks

    Teddy.

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  14. I learned nothing new, a complete waste of 10 seconds. Jesus and the legends and teachings he represents are largely detrimental to science and society as a whole

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  15. Wow, you all need to relax. You take things way too seriously. He didn't say anything bad about Jesus, they're just a bunch of stupid jokes that don't even make sense.. But nonetheless, are pretty funny. Once you hear the name "Jesus" said by anyone who doesn't blindly dedicate their entire life to him, you pounce. You people have no sense of humor whatsoever. "Cargo shorts are not religious, and I'm pretty sure there was no Old Navy in 33 AD." No shit, Sherlock. That's why it's ridiculous, and therefore, funny. God, I hate you Jesus freaks. Get a life, he doesn't exist anyway and you're going to get a rude awakening when you die and he's nowhere to be found. What a waste of life.

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  16. I like this. Screw the naysayers.

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  17. ha. please T, you and your science can Shove it. Along with your Big Bang, Theory of Evolution, Age of the earth Theory, etc. I may be a christian, but even if i wasnt there is NO WAY that "science" can prove that a big bang "created" this world, explosions destroy NOT create. As for all the christians out there, if you dont like these jokes then dont read them. i read the first three and then said forget this.

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  18. o shut the hell up u stupid people. its really not that big of a deal. lighten up. just because some one puts jesus on one of these jks its instantly horrible. if it had said elvis or jack the ripper or, hell i dont no SANTA it would have been fine but as soon as it says jesus "o blastphemy!" geez... o and by the way if they had anything to do with bibacal *facts* they would be stupid. " jesus was hanging out with moses and isaac asked jesus to tell god why did u tell my dad to kill me? not cool..." was that funny? no... but it did go with the bible right? yes but it wasnt funny

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  19. uh dipshit science is closer to proving the big bang theory then your fairy tales of jesus written 60 years after the actual event even happened, ever hear of the game telephone? yeah stories get messed up along the way. and jesus these are jokes calm the hell down and stop being such an asshole, laugh at yourself every now and again, i bet jesus thinks these are funny =P

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  20. haha no thats true, i was talking to him he loves these jokes =P

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  21. Why did the chicks dig Jesus?



    ... Cause he was hung like THIS (arms spread out wide).

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  22. a1c_ryan YOU ARE STUPID! if your gonna dis science at least get it right! try learning about the big bang then maybe you'll understand! maybe god did exist before everything then as you say because explosions destroy things maybe the big bang killed him!! boom! oo look, i just created a new theory :P lol

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  23. hahaha these a hoot xD... yay for athiesm :3 fuck all u believers... TRY and prove god exists... no bible/kuran/jew book shit those were just books of lies by some old faggots who tried making money off the dumb and retarded...

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  24. Fun Fact 372: The Big Bang was not an 'explosion'. All of the energy within the universe was condensed into a singular point which expanded outwards. The energy converted into matter, which all bundled up into things like stars and big rocks (Earth) due to gravitational attraction. So yes, it CAN 'create' things.

    As for everybody getting upset about the author 'bashing' Jesus, lighten up. He hasn't once said that Jesus doesn't exist, or even mentioned him in a negative way at all. If you think he's said something insulting, you've imagined it.

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  25. Damn Jesus Fags, go suck a bible for Jesus Sake.

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  26. Hate to be difficult, but I am a christian, and whilst these are not the funniest jokes I have seen ever, they are kinda amusing, and I dont find them offensive really. Oops, sorry. Also, I belive in the big bang theory and evolution AND Jesus. So um. stop calling Christians names and stuff ppl who commented, its kinda rude. *runs and hides for I fear I have been logical, sensible and polite on a message board*

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  27. I almost 100% agree with this last post. I'm a Christian, and while, with the exception of a few clever ones, I actually didn't really think these posts were very funny, I wasn't in the least bit offended by them. I actually imagine that God has a pretty good sense of humor Himself.

    I will also say, I think it's absurd that science and religion have to stay separate. Google search about Christianity and evolution going hand in hand and there are some pretty convincing arguments to be found.

    Also, I'd suggest that some of you do some research into religion before bashing it whole-heartedly. If you do, you might find some pretty powerful suggestions for how to live and love, but if not, you'd probably at least discover that the "jew book" is called the Torah, and that there is scientific proof that Jesus existed, as did other characters, and events of the Bible.

    Also, "t", Jesus didn't teach about science, but instead about love, compassion, healing, and forgiveness. In my mind, today's society could use a good bit more of just that...

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  28. i'm christian and i don't give a fuck if it rips on jesus...its just not funny at all :P you'd have to be an 11 year old to laugh at that :( but then again they wouldn't get the joke...srry dude better luck next time...

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  29. wow, go science all the way, at least that shit has been proven. Show me a guy in a white robe, sandals, a beard, n can walk on water, then ill believe in jesus. Show my sum friggin proof of his existence, its all made up!

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  30. I am Christian but do find this quite funny,, and am not offended. People need to learn to take a joke,, and all of you should stop being horrible about religion,, we can believe in what we want (I also believe in Big Bang theory and Evolution).
    And to the post before this,, you show me some solid proof that he didn't exist,, I'm not bothered if you don't believe,, but what have you got against others believing??

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  31. To the post above, as much as I appreciate level headed faithful people, I will agree with the post above you in that those who postulate a supernatural force bear the burden of proof to show the existence of said force, regardless of who made the challenge first.

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  32. I'm a Christian and I though quite a few of these were really funny.
    People need to lighten up.. Sigh.
    Anndddd.. John said it all. (:

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  33. Even if I wasn't religious, this wouldn't be funny.
    Pretty stupid to make something that would obviously be controversial.

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  34. i love religious jokes but they could be much more clever and funny. this is at the "polite chuckle" level. talk about jesus accidently getting drunk while drinking water or something but this is a little dry

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  35. not funny at all :S

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  36. Every one should lighten up a bit okay im not Cristian or atheist but im just going to live my life how I want to not how some book says to, that as mentioned b4 is like telephone all the stories are messed up! So Im just going to live my life and when I die if I see Jesus I will then apologize(:

    Btw: Props to the writer you did pretty good!

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  37. lol...O_________O

    *points to the first 20 posts or so* scary much? :O

    and... i don't get the jokeee D: can someone explain?

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  38. Really to be completely honest, some of you people just need a fucking life. It is just a website, not the end of the world.

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  39. alexanderthomastrainorMarch 14, 2010 at 7:48 PM

    science>religion

    im pretty sure jesus wouldnt be cool with his "people" calling other people "fags". what about that whole "do unto the least of my brothers" thing? thats why christians will always lose because not only are their beliefs blind, unjustifiable, and illogical, but so very few can actually practice what they are supposed to.

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  40. Goodness gracious, the stupidity of the general human population somehow never ceases to amaze me. I mean, by now, it's not like I expect most people to be intelligence, but I wouldn't expect that they would just keep getting dumber...

    This website is a joke. All of the entries here are jokes. Most of them may be really dumb jokes, but they're still JOKES. Do any of you uppity bible thumpers honestly believe that this guy seriously thinks Jesus is embarrassed to buy clearance items at a retail store? Do not feed the trolls.
    Besides, no one is making fun of Jesus. They're making fun of stereotypical, uptight, overly conservative Christians who will bash your skull with the bible until you admit you're a Satanist and begin to repent. Obviously, the creator is spot-on.

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  41. Maybe he wasn't even referring to Jesus Christ, Jesus is a very normal first name in large parts of the world.

    I love it when people have it in them to believe in something, I hate it when they alway's feel attacked.

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