Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Jesus Fact #43

Jesus Fact #43

Jesus knows the difference between a clone trooper and a storm trooper...I wonder why he doesn't have a girlfriend...

Jesus Fact #42

Jesus Fact #42

Jesus enjoyed Adam Lambert at the AMAs... I mean, really enjoyed it...

Jesus Fact #41

Jesus Fact #41

Jesus spent all of his savings on Bernie Madoff...and stockpiling golden Oreos

Jesus Fact #40

Jesus Fact #40

Jesus can still do a perfect Soulja Boy dance...

Jesus Fact #39

Jesus Fact #39

Jesus hates bathrooms with air dryers...they never really get your hands completely dry...

Jesus Fact #38

Jesus Fact #38

Jesus is violently obsessed with Farmville.

Jesus Fact #37

Jesus Fact #37

Jesus pity-laughs at Mr. Campanile's crappy jokes...

Jesus Fact #36

Jesus Fact #36

Jesus had his first kiss as a sophomore...she was asleep...

Jesus Fact #35

Jesus Fact #35

Jesus wore a tuxedo t-shirt to homecoming...and prom.

Jesus Fact #34

Jesus Fact #34

Jesus walked out of Saw 5...pussy...

Jesus Fact #33

Jesus Fact #33

Jesus still doesn't know who the hell Justin Bieber is...

Jesus Fact #32

Jesus Fact #32

Jesus has seen The Breakfast Club like six times this week...great movie...

Jesus Fact #31

Jesus Fact #31

Jesus isn't gay, he's just...curious.

Jesus Fact #30

Jesus Fact #30

Jesus watches Jim Rome is Burning on ESPN2.

Jesus Fact #29

Jesus Fact #29

Jesus is the illegitimate son of an Arabian woman and a bearded man who lives in the sky.

Jesus Fact #28

Jesus Fact #28

Jesus is a Facebook fan of Not Being Eaten by Bears.

Jesus Fact #27

Jesus Fact #27

Jesus hasn't paid for a bottle of wine in years...he just buys water

Jesus Fact #26

Jesus Fact #26

Jesus comes in many different shapes, colors, and sizes...

Jesus Fact #25

Jesus Fact #25

Jesus always uses protection...

Jesus Fact #24

Jesus Fact #24

Jesus didn't go to Catholic school...He couldn't afford it.

Jesus Fact #23

Jesus Fact #23

Jesus loves free-form jazz...especially jazz flute

Jesus Fact #22

Jesus Fact #22

Jesus was the original Xylophone player in Sly and the Family Stone.

Jesus Fact #21

Jesus Fact #21

Jesus was in ROTC...

Jesus Fact #20

Jesus Fact #20

God put Net Nanny on Jesus' computer...

Jesus Fact #19

Jesus Fact #19

Jesus is now available through this limited time offer for the low low price of $19.95!

Jesus Fact #18

Jesus Fact #18

Jesus doesn't get why Paul Newman has his own salad dressing...I mean, he was an actor, a race car driver, not a chef...

Jesus Fact #17

Jesus Fact #17

Jesus had a lisp..."tho guyth, welcome to the latht thupper"

Jesus Fact #16

Jesus Fact#16

Jesus supports the death penalty... just kidding.

Jesus Fact #15

Jesus Fact #15

Jesus is the 3rd string wide receiver for his college intramural football team...

Jesus Fact #14

Jesus Fact #14

Jesus hates when people get competitive at board games.

Jesus Fact #13

Jesus Fact #13

Jesus sometimes wishes he had a black friend...

Jesus Fact #12

Jesus Fact #12

Jesus feels like a superhero when he walks on the moving walkway at the airport...and when he heals the sick...

Jesus Fact #11

Jesus Fact #11

Jesus hates when people stand on escalators...you have to walk...

Jesus Fact #10

Jesus Fact #10

Jesus once camped out for 18 hours for Alanis Morrisette tickets.

Jesus Fact #9

Jesus Fact #9

Jesus doesn't get what's so holy about holy water...isn't it just water?

Jesus Fact #8

Jesus Fact #8

Jesus likes Skittles but doesn't like the way they stain your hands as you're eating them...

Jesus Fact #7

Jesus Fact #7

Jesus' biggest regret is telling people to not have sex before marriage.

Jesus Fact #6

Jesus Fact #6

Even Jesus doesn't like sitting through a Christening...

Jesus Fact #5

Jesus Fact #5

Jesus has had Tivo for a year, but he still doesn't get how to hook it up.

Jesus Fact #4

Jesus Fact #4

Jesus has a Greyhound bus pass.

Jesus Fact #3

Jesus Fact #3

Jesus bought a Rob Thomas album...just to listen to Streetcorner Symphony.

Jesus Fact #2

Jesus Fact #2

Jesus is leasing a Toyota Camry

Jesus Fact #1

Jesus Fact #1:

Jesus is embarassed about buying cargo shorts at Old Navy...they were on sale.