Jesus Facts: 2009

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Jesus Fact #48

Jesus Fact #48: Jesus spends church contemplating joining one of those black gospel churches... seems much more festive...

Jesus Fact #47

Jesus Fact #47: Jesus started the whole socks and sandals thing...

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Jesus Fact #46

Jesus Fact #46: Jesus had a farmers tan...maybe shouldn't have worn the dress all the time..

debunkcreationists.blogspot.com!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Thursday, December 24, 2009

For the intellectuals who view this blog...

I've started a new one, Debunking Pseudoscience at this link; http://debunkcreationists.blogspot.com/

Take a look and get to posting those hate comments!

Jesus Fact #45

Jesus Fact #45: Even Jesus doesn't know what the fuck frankincense is...Worst birthday gift ever...

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Jesus Fact #44

Jesus Fact #44: Jesus didn't finish his entree at the Last Supper... He filled up on bread.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Jesus Fact #43

Jesus knows the difference between a clone trooper and a storm trooper...I wonder why he doesn't have a girlfriend...

Jesus Fact #42

Jesus enjoyed Adam Lambert at the AMAs... I mean, really enjoyed it...

Jesus Fact #41

Jesus spent all of his savings on Bernie Madoff...and stockpiling golden Oreos

Jesus Fact #40

Jesus can still do a perfect Soulja Boy dance...

Jesus Fact #39

Jesus hates bathrooms with air dryers...they never really get your hands completely dry...

Jesus Fact #38

Jesus is violently obsessed with Farmville.

Jesus Fact #37

Jesus pity-laughs at Mr. Campanile's crappy jokes...

Jesus Fact #36

Jesus had his first kiss as a sophomore...she was asleep...

Jesus Fact #35

Jesus wore a tuxedo t-shirt to homecoming...and prom.

Jesus Fact #34

Jesus walked out of Saw 5...pussy...

Jesus Fact #33

Jesus still doesn't know who the hell Justin Bieber is...

Jesus Fact #32

Jesus has seen The Breakfast Club like six times this week...great movie...

Jesus Fact #31

Jesus isn't gay, he's just...curious.

Jesus Fact #30

Jesus watches Jim Rome is Burning on ESPN2.

Jesus Fact #29

Jesus is the illegitimate son of an Arabian woman and a bearded man who lives in the sky.

Jesus Fact #28

Jesus is a Facebook fan of Not Being Eaten by Bears.

Jesus Fact #27

Jesus hasn't paid for a bottle of wine in years...he just buys water

Jesus Fact #26

Jesus comes in many different shapes, colors, and sizes...

Jesus Fact #25

Jesus always uses protection...

Jesus Fact #24

Jesus didn't go to Catholic school...He couldn't afford it.

Jesus Fact #23

Jesus loves free-form jazz...especially jazz flute

Jesus Fact #22

Jesus was the original Xylophone player in Sly and the Family Stone.

Jesus Fact #21

Jesus was in ROTC...

Jesus Fact #20

God put Net Nanny on Jesus' computer...

Jesus Fact #19

Jesus is now available through this limited time offer for the low low price of $19.95!

Jesus Fact #18

Jesus doesn't get why Paul Newman has his own salad dressing...I mean, he was an actor, a race car driver, not a chef...

Jesus Fact #17

Jesus had a lisp..."tho guyth, welcome to the latht thupper"

Jesus Fact #16

Jesus Fact#16

Jesus supports the death penalty... just kidding.

Jesus Fact #15

Jesus is the 3rd string wide receiver for his college intramural football team...

Jesus Fact #14

Jesus hates when people get competitive at board games.

Jesus Fact #13

Jesus sometimes wishes he had a black friend...

Jesus Fact #12

Jesus feels like a superhero when he walks on the moving walkway at the airport...and when he heals the sick...

Jesus Fact #11

Jesus hates when people stand on escalators...you have to walk...

Jesus Fact #10

Jesus once camped out for 18 hours for Alanis Morrisette tickets.

Jesus Fact #9

Jesus doesn't get what's so holy about holy water...isn't it just water?

Jesus Fact #8

Jesus likes Skittles but doesn't like the way they stain your hands as you're eating them...